Swearing in French sounds oh so sexy. And it’s also a whole lotta fun learning it from presenter, Arnaud, in the workshop ‘So French So Naughty’.

The workshop started with a movie scene, which set the tone for the evening. From The Matrix, we saw a bad guy in sunglasses. A list of foreign expletives rolled off his tongue. Then he calmly sipped his wine and said, ‘swearing in French is like wiping you’re a*** with silk.’

With abundant charm and humour, Arnaud guided us through the world of French profanities. He acted out different situations where you use these terms, e.g. when you’re stuck in traffic, when you stuff up at work. Everyone got involved, practising not only the pronunciation but also the right attitude.

‘No, that’s too sweet,’ critiqued Arnaud. ‘Say it like this,’ as he demonstrated how to swear like you mean it.

Swear words ranged from mild and almost jovial to downright offensive, and we were cautioned to be ‘very careful’ with these ones. Arnaud turned to a couple who were going to France on holiday, and explained that they shouldn’t go around flaunting their new vocab as soon as they arrive.
‘Don’t say this to the customs officer or he will punch you in the face.’

We finished with a test, followed by a song from the 1800s that French people like to sing when drunk. Arnaud commented that the song is rude but ‘the grammar is very stylish.’

This was a Wednesday class but there are also Saturday classes about flirting. I’m sure that the culture with a reputation for love and romance flirt better than anyone, but in a classy way, bien sûr.

This Fringe workshop was entertaining, hilarious and educational. Putain de soirée! Translation – ‘What a f***ing great evening!’

By Carolyn Wild

8pm at La Buvette, Wednesdays and Saturdays